Shock. Guilt. Shame.

 

The other day I was on the train from work. Peak time. 17.40 pm on a Friday.

A young man passed by and with the back of his forearm touched my right breast.

I froze. Nothing came out of my mouth.

Did he do it on purpose? Maybe it was just an accident. The train is packed, you can’t really start shouting at him, what if it was actually not on purpose? You would look like a fool, I thought.

My emotions, however, were very different. He has done it on purpose, you can feel it, he couldn’t have done that by mistake! I feel dirty, I don’t like it, and I haven’t said anything!, my brain kept on insisting.

Shock, Guilt, Shame…where some of the emotions going through my head. 

 

Unfortunately, this episode happens millions of times to millions of women around the planet.

Women are sexually assaulted, harassed, and abused daily. However, when these topics are discussed, the experts, politicians and the public opinion as a whole, tend to focus always on the side of the executioners. Why do they do it? What do they get out of it? What punishment is appropriate? How should the law be enforced to stop it? Are they ill or just perverts?

However, who thinks about the victims? What happens inside our heads every single time this happens? How do we feel? How do we react? What consequences do these actions have on our lives? Does it affect our personal life? What about our sexual one?

These are questions that not many people ask themselves, and the reality is that it is the victims that we should listen to, in order find out how they feel.

When women are repeatedly treated as a piece of meat with curves, as purely unemotional sexual beings, it may be difficult for us to establish natural, healthy and positive relationships with men, both professional and personal.

Any kind of sexual abuse, assault or harassment may leave certain consequences in the victims that can last forever. And this does not only affect women but their whole environment. It is very difficult for our families, partner(s), or friends to understand what we think and feel during and after these events, and they probably feel clueless and unable to help.

To those willing to help, and not knowing how to, sometimes listening to us without judging, without laughing and without diminishing the situation; can be enough.

20 comments: On Shock. Guilt. Shame.

  • I will right away seize your rss as I can’t to find
    your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly allow me realize so that I could subscribe.
    Thanks.

  • I could not resist commenting. Perfectly written!

    • I am glad you liked it and you commented Kiersten! I will keep on posting and would love you to keep on commenting or perhaps raising questions if you have any or ideas for further posts 🙂 this is also your space!

  • I need to to thank you for this very good read!!
    I absolutely loved every bit of it. I’ve got you saved as a favorite to check out new stuff you post…

  • Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you can be a great
    author.I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will eventually come back later on. I want to encourage you continue your great writing, have a nice day!

  • Greetings I am so happy I found your blog, I really found you by accident,
    while I was looking on Google for something else, Nonetheless I am here
    now and would just like to say cheers for a tremendous post and a
    all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I dont have time to read through it
    all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added your
    RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot
    more, Please do keep up the excellent work.

  • Hi there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay.

    I’m undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.

  • Howdy! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of volunteers and starting
    a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a marvellous job!

    • That sounds very interesting. What’s the project about and where are you developing it? It will be great to know more about it!

  • Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts
    and I will be waiting for your further write ups thank you
    once again.

  • Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is wonderful
    blog. An excellent read. I will definitely be back.

  • I’ll immediately clutch your rss because i can’t to find your email subscription hyperlink or
    e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly permit me
    realize in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  • Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him.

    Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  • I couldn’t resist commenting. Perfectly written!

  • I had been suggested this website by using my cousin. I’m not certain whether this submit is written by means of him as no one else realize such designated approximately my difficulty.

    You’re amazing! Thanks a lot!

  • Things i don’t realize is actually how you’re not
    really a lot more neatly-liked than you can be right now.
    You are so intelligent. You understand therefore considerably
    regarding this topic, produced me individually imagine it from so many numerous angles.
    Its like women and men aren’t fascinated except it’s one important thing to accomplish with Lady gaga!

    Your personal stuffs outstanding. Always deal with it up!

Leave a reply:

Your email address will not be published.

Site Footer